Is It A No Win Situation?

This issue is currently facing my family unit and I, it has been like a torn in my flesh for ages now. There was a time I thought I had it resolved but alas it is here again. Is this how we shall continue to live? I am on the verge of doing something drastic, but the last time I did, I lived to regret it, although I confess I had fun doing it.

I am having a hard time combing my bush and yet you say you want to grow one. Every other morning in the bathroom despite the rush hour, I take out time to apply head & shoulders shampoo and wonder why I never remember to buy a detangler. The other day, I had a comb with me and I combed out the afro looming beneath. Dried it, I combed it again and it looked, felt and smelt nice.

Alas, I couldn’t keep up with the routine so I have thus abandoned it to breed on its own without guidance. Now it is locked in a much untended manner. In my spare time, I use my fingers to untangle it and it more than necessary, turns out to be quite unpleasant leading to the introduction of the second hand for freedom. The twists and turns, stings and bites I suffer when I force them to unlock from the finely formed bond they have created with each other is something to write home about (as I have just done).

Sometime in the past while I was serving my nation, I proceeded on a certain action I call drastic and applied shaving powder, magic hair remover.

In a few minutes, I was clean like a baby, groin, sides, crotch and entire under all-encompassing. About a week later, it came to pass that I could barely walk; it felt like I had been attacked by a million and one termites, this specie of termites was called stubble.

Let your imagination go there. I couldn’t quite take a walk without having to stop and adjust my sac of jewels and rod of life, and then readjust again and again. It was an almost hopeless situation but for dusting powder, and the fact that my roommate was suffering a similar predicament.

Now, the dilemma is to shave or to trim, I am armed with a pair of scissors and clippers, but I have found not the time or space to execute the rescue mission. In a few days I will however, take this bull by the horns.

On the side, I wouldn’t terribly mind, a willing female stylist to engage me in a private shaving exercise, with of course a happy ending. Feel free to suggest, volunteer or nominate, or kuku apply in person.

Overgrown Bia-Bia & Other Tales

It’s been a while and I’ve not been able to coordinate myself to write a post.

A few things have been hovering and I’ve been pondering. I’ve been feeling very drowsy a lot lately, and that includes this moment. I wonder why. It feels like I have just popped some mild prescription sedatives once I have had lunch. This is madness, I think I am pregnant.

I am getting sicker and most tired of this city Port Harcourt and want out, by any means possible, as it were. Is I too much to ask to have cinemas here? Infact, lets not go there. Abuja here I come.

In the past few weeks no doubt I have met some new people and had interesting times. I read a book and sojourned to a far away country, even before my boss permitted, I was gone.

I haven’t gotten over the beauty of my friends house, where she lives with her husband, one of them is into exteriors and décor. What they have is a home. I'm getting mine soon.

I would love to drive a new car but can’t quite spend that money at the moment. I have to move out of my house to where I will no longer share parking space. I have a home design in process; still thinking if I should include a pool. Got a bit of space. Any thoughtz?

I have lusted badly after someone I barely know. I thought those days were gone. It’s been not very easy being celibate, well not like I really am. I shagged an old flame without protection during the week. & it was good, sue me.

I want to go to the gym today. I think I have gotten out of shape. I was breathing very hard after jumping a few flights of staircase, maybe it was the cold. Anyway, thanks to that cold, my heat rashes are gone.

My fridge is empty. I have once again, and again, postponed my trip to the shops. If only there was an Tesco or ASDA or Lidl near my house, alas I have to swin traffic to get to Everyday Emporium, forget Park n Shop, they don’t have proper toothpaste or soap there.

I slept at about 2:30am last night, because I had taken a nap earlier. I was so horny I couldn’t resist the urge to do porn. Sadly, it made it worse. (of course I knew that was going to happen)

So much money have I been spending lately on call cards. Its like I run a pay as you go call centre.

I think I am loosing it. This pressure is too much. The pain in my left thumb has not subsided even after four weeks. I sprained it doing on sharp driving move like that, fuck that Aba bus driver.

Did I mention, I might be writing soon for a magazine, but I think they want me to do free work. I no go gree. God will vindicate them. LOL

I think I need a pedicure but I’m not yet ready to loose the this four week old beard yet.

Meanwhile, did you hear about Badderchic and Baroque? (Her last 4 posts) Don’t believe everything you read.