I Am Thinking

I stopped arguing & started thinking

Then I stopped speaking even if was thinking

The writing stopped & I went deeper in thought

I stopped reading, but was I still thinking?

I was thinking about what I was thinking about

Then I resolved to not decide just yet

Until now I have stopped smiling, I am still thinking

I Write, You Write, We Write

I never really gave thought to the reason why I write. Some of you say you do because it is therapeutical so you string a few words, or more, and tell us a story or two, true or not, express your pain or hurt, laughs and joy, deeds and intents, desires and sexcapades. Some of us only rant and wish life was not the way it was.

It may not get better right now but the words given vent to could lighten the writer.

I used to write because it was beautiful to create something out of nothing. More than not likely, it would start with a blank page & then out pours essence from your heart & mind and it turns from letters to words, from words to sentences, from sentences to paragraphs, from paragraphs to chapters, from chapters to books.

And some authors are borne.

It is beautiful, and sounds easy on the ear too, the way the words fall in steady rhythm and charming rhymes. A few lines carrying so much meaning expressed from the heart of the writer to the mind of the reader.

There’s no better meaning to the word poetry.

Words fall out of spaces, into more decipherable characters than hieroglyphics, although not necessarily in English Language. A language so deep, yet so illogical. My honest opinion.

I love the way it doesn’t follow most of the times; as stubborn like a mule.

I am heavy hearted, & I wish my words would cheer me up but I find them not thus my rage. I am bereft of the verbal skill to lay hold of and partake of the healing milk they say writing gives. This amateur writer is blocked.

This Is Not A Rant

This is not a rant; I have said this before now

I would like to hear an audible reply when I speak to you

I would rather not repeat myself over & over

Mumbles and animal-like grunts won’t do

Once said is enough if you are wise

This is not a rant; don’t say you were not warned

I ask a question and you draw a blank

I can’t remember us having a fight

So I enquire if I was in soliloquy

Beware, no one plays that game better than me

This is not a rant, nor is it me being wild or impassionate

Absentmindedness is not a state of mind; it is a state of no mind

If you can get lost in your thoughts, so can I

Even children call out salutations, & you are not a newborn

I will not say this a third time, I will soon tit you for your tat

This is not a rant; and should not be seen as one

I detest it when you act like you are been cheated

We are two variables & this is not an equation

You will learn to do it yourself or pay the price

Forget your tears; it won’t help you this time

This is not a rant; I will not say it again

Closed Chapter

It has been quite a challenge for me to get back where I was with you
Your attitude triggered me to loose patience and it is all gone now
I solicit within, pondering if you really knew what it was I felt for you
The actuality that it was not reciprocal cannot be over-emphasized

I was open with my thoughts and feelings and it only caused me hurt
I allowed it because there is no self-defence when it comes to love
You broke me; you made me feel like shit, utterly wasted
I could not concentrate on anything anymore besides loosing weight

I keep asking myself what went wrong. Was it me, was it you or us both?
Was I too much in a hurry? Maybe I rushed you
Maybe you really did not want me but was only giving it a chance
But that chance I never got because you only had to be understood

You never believed in the success of this association
It could not be me because you alone decided I was not good enough for you
Maybe not prim or proper enough to want to join the upper class struggle
I could not give you the value of love you wanted, least of all, la vie

Maybe I cut your air supply and you thus snuffed out your ability to call for space
I was in your face with insinuations of nuptials and it was too much for you
You were wrong in many more ways than I am willing to say
Let it not be my pride speaking, so I accept my faults and retain my sanity

I was in love with you and it was all about you, I forgot about me
But now I have picked myself up and I am stronger

Yours is a chapter I have closed and shall endeavour to not remember