Thursday, 30 August 2007

Life Is Short, Make the Most of It

For goodness sake, I don’t want to enlarge my penis. Leave me alone. I might not be very satisfied with the size of it but I love its performance, and I mean, no matter the consignment I’m handling, big, short, small, tall, lekpa or orobo (no matter the volume!). It may have failed me a couple of times but most of those times were excusable.

Who the heck gave them my email address? They keep on sending me these rubbish ‘Enlarge Your Penis’ mails trying to make me buy some cheap drug, do I look like a guinea pig. What madness! Within the past half hour, I followed a link in a mail I got and I saw Before & After pictures. How crass is that? Very convincing. The annoying thing is that the members shown were not even good looking enough, weak and raggedish looking onyibo man thing.

How do they even know I’m a guy, abi na Yahoo!?

If no be ‘Enlarge Your Penis’ na “Are You Wanting a Bigger Penis’ or ‘Get More Girth’ or ‘No Pills, No Medication’ or ‘Be a More Confident Man’, the coolest though was ‘Life is Short, Make the Most of It’.

Is it all about marketing? And they do not fail to call it PENIS.

I deny not, however, that the thought to place an order has not crossed my mind before, more than once actually, but of course I don’t want a delivery tagged, ‘Enlargement Solution’ DHL'd to my house and have someone else receive it (I use my family address for deliveries because I live alone)…I might as well walk into a shop and like for a pack of condoms, ask for Penis Enlargement pills, or whatever it is they come in. shame no gree me abeg.

Back to the point! I have decided, I don’t want to enlarge my penis. I don’t need 9inches of manhood. I don’t want to be a porn star. My role model is NOT Lexington Steele, I’d rather watch not do. I don’t want to impale anybody’s daughter, although there’s this particular girl I would love to run through (she don show me pepper).

I know what my over-endowed friends suffer, there’s always a story to tell especially of how they finally didn’t go through with it. I love my sex and will do nothing to jeopardise that.

LEAVE MY DICK ALONE, YOU FRAUDSTER.

15 comments:

100%Lighty said...

lol! about the girl way show u pepper. u mind sharing wot exactly she did? lol! anyway u dont have to enlarge, am sure u're fine just the way u are.

this is funny.

uknaija said...

Very funny. Please if you find them, ask them to leave my penis alone as well

Baroque said...

atink una dey see trouble, i've just opened my mail & saw a new one titled, INVOICE...i never order the Viagra them wan send me invoice...if my thing gets any harder than it does, there'll be no blood to do the pumping

@lighty, no be small thing oh, i go knack you tory about that girl

@uknaij, u feel me huh? i go tell them

Jaja said...

They keep clogging my damn box!

Someone tell them my penis is ample size... its of a dimension

I shall be back baroque

Idemili said...

On any of those 'excusable' situations, did the girl in question leave in a huff? 'Cos she might have been pissed off and spread your shit all over the internet.

I can't even say that with a straight face, I am laughing so hard.

Baroque said...

@Jaja, "it is of a dimension"? that na serious sounding MTS oh

@Ide, ...spread my shit on the internet? no way! truth is, for all of those excusable situations, i have redeemed my image...u still laughing?

Tyger said...

heheheheheh
i am lavving o

cally-waffybabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ubong Da said...

LOL.I no fit laugh enough. I get the same load of crap emails. I wonder if babes get ones ontightening their erm erm etc etc

Baroque said...

@Ubong, i wonder if they do too...i'v told them to be patient...when i turn 50 and the thing starts failing then we can talk business

@tyger, the thing funny no be small

@CWB, i'm still thinking of impaling that girl

Zephi said...

ahh baroque, whats your dick size? it cant be that bad can it? lol

Baroque said...

@zephi, truthfully, me & Lexington Steele no be mate at all...i be average...anyway, a trial will convince you

theicequeen said...

the fits of laughter that have taken over me ehnnn! kai "i don't want to impale anybodys daughter"..rotflmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

miz-cynic said...

@icequeen-true true u be my blog twin.wetin u dey fin here.i love it here too,thouthe bobo can be very brash and in ur face somtimes.but i guess thts why we all come here.i hv a thn for peeps wu are real and spit it as it is with a bit of humor like he does.@baroque-sori im talking abt u on ur own blog.what insurbodination.lol

Miss Lowlah said...

I'm not even a dude but I still get those emails. Hisss. CAn't stand spam.