Saturday, 1 September 2007

Phone Conversation II

6:00pm three days later, the phone rings and with this feigned disinterest, I pick it up and say nothing

“Hello”, the expected almost familiar voice said, “Is that Baroque?”
“Yes oh, na me, onye na eku” I replied with a quickened vigour in playful Igbo guessing who was at the other end.
“It’s me again, Nma, are you busy”, quite forward, I thought
“Nope, just got in from work and have been actually waiting for your call” I said smiling. I was actually hoping she’d call
“You were waiting for my call, huh? Then you must have been thinking of something while you were waiting”, she says with this very jolly tone
“Well, nothing fancy; if I wanted Fruit & Fibre or Indomie for supper or Garri, and at the same time, trying to picture what the lips from whence such a voice came would look like”, I sharply rejoined
“Ok, then, if you want to knock yourself out then do Garri but first let’s hear about the lips”, she said, ending with this flirtatious tone
“Wouldn’t you rather hear about my Jewish side or have us talk about our broken hearts” I said disjointedly referring to our previous conversation
“After you tell me what you were thinking” she says

I’m getting very excited; maybe it was the promising sound of her voice or maybe my present hornyness doing the thinking for me.

“I’m not saying anything because I was thinking about a lot more than lips; believe me sweetheart, you don’t want to hear my thoughts,”
“OK oh! More than lips?” she exclaimed, “Now I want to hear it” she continued
“You dey find trouble; I’ll tell you in person, over Shawarma and a cold beer” I say after a 3 seconds delay
“I take that as an invitation, but tell me what’s on your mind first” she said
“You’re already on my mind, if you want to get in any deeper, you’ll need more than a shield and buckler”. That was me flirting shamelessly, not like I care anyway
“Eheh! you dont mean it; is there anything I should be wary of, Mr. B?”

Mr. B? We are now on the nickname levels huh! I’m thinking to myself

“What do you suspect? You don’t strike me like someone that’ll scare easily”
“Why would you think so” she asked chuckling
“You’ve not given any reasons to think otherwise” I reply, feeling very smart

After about 3 minutes of inconsequential talk, I decide to spice up a bit and introduce some impishness and push it

“Gosh, I’m so horny; which kind life be this?” my very famous line that has brought me some sunshine in the past
“WHAT! What did you say?” she enquired. I think I heard her do a half smile despite her attempt to sound shocked
“My dear, nothing oh, was just thinking out loud, been a while since I got proper loving done to me”, I lied. Well in my books two days without sex is long enough for me to get to my horniest peak.
“Proper loving done to you? What the hell are you talking about?” she asks
“You won’t understand until we meet” I say convincingly, “Oh shyeet, my light has gone, NEPA, craze people, I’m using a cordless phone so it’ll go off in a minute or two, lemme give you my mobile number” I continue

“Ok then, give it to me, I’ll call you in 2 days when I’m in Nigeria”.

She says her cousin was coming to get her from the Owerri airport and that she would be in Aba for a few days, then be in Port Harcourt by weekend, I give her my mobile number and take hers, just before the phone dies.

Now that same piss dey worry me and I’m sure I’ll enjoy this one too, off to my pour out my bladder.


100%Lighty said...

ummm um! *cough* in short u'll be getting some from her when she arrives shea? u're already laying it down softly abi? u dont waste time ohh mr B, na sooooo? lol!

nywayz bruv thnx 4 stopping by my blog. u avnt told mi wot u feel about my talent blog, i am waiting 4 u comment.

Idemili said...

So, I bu onye Igbo? Ifele eme chi, shameless boy! I will tell your mummy!

catwalq said...

u need to get that bladder checked out, dear

Jezi Brown said...

very talented writer
like how you wrote that :)

Baroque said...

@lighty%, i try not to waste anytime, before she change mind...i'll respond to your talents soon (no pun intended)

@ide, my mummy wont believe you.

@catty, its just that i dont like my bladder filling up, its fine really

@jezbrown, thanks a bunsh!

femme said...

wat if u meet her and she's...

Carlang said...

I Hope she looks incredibly sexy man...
how did the piss go..

Idemili said...

@Baroque: Please. If she doesn't then I'll tell your daddy. I'm good with daddies. Daddies think I'm adorable. Daddies like me.

I'll leave it to him to convince her.

Baroque said...

@femme, sista mi, thats the chance i'd have to take...however the plan shall be made known in the sequel

@carlang, i'm hoping so too. there's nothing as bad as a blind date with someone that looks like a wall-geko or better still, an orangutan...lets keep our fingers crossed

@Ide, atink you want to go & confuse the poor man, & i'm sure he'll like you! that man is not to be the time i finish telling him about DMX, you'll be so discredited...btw, i need an 'invitation' to see more DMX

Anonymous said...

Man, I'm not blogging at the moment. I'll open up the blog as soon as things get a little easier around me. OK?


Jaja said...

See eh Baroque... Stop bringing this story in tiny morsels like this.

Jusst as I do with my garri: I deal in cups not in spoons.

Update this thing and give us the main gist.

kokolette said...


exschoolnerd said...

hope u guys get on well o! cause i know hw it cn suck when u gel and fone and when u scoin scoin go just dabaru the whole thing.

Baroque said...

@Ide, I understand what you mean, but I never knew you could close the blog. please I’m getting very impatient, make things ease up for you biko

@Jaja, if I tell you the whole story at once, story go finish & nobody will come to my blog again.

@Kokolette, YES?

@ExSN, I know how these things can be, I’m hoping she’s worth the trouble. I like that your breastish something in the picture, looks very...

catwalq said...

oh boy, na update I find come...where e dey?

Mrs Somebody said...


badderchic said...

try not to burst our bladders, been sitting here for days waiting for you to update, abeg i wan go piss noooow!

unshined congo said...

this may be l8 but gud luck on ur blind d8 ( did dat just rhyme???)OMG!!! just pray say make she nor be like monkey when lick lime sha.. lol

cally-waffybabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cally-waffybabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Baroque said...

my people, I’ve been out of circulation, & still am. I just swung by to see if any fire don catch before I return by the end of next week...

catwalq, that update, na im I dey find too? I’ve been all over the place, I almost feel like the devil.

@mrs.something, my woman, I go update, just gimme small time, market wan fall press me. meanwhile, how far our weight-loss business?

@badderchic, abeg no burst the bladder, go piss! me sef I just piss finish now now

@unshinedcongo, na my blog you take dey flex your rhymes busting skills abi? meanwhile, which kind wicked talk be that, if you know wetin monkey wey lick lime resemble eh, you no go near zoo again

@cally-waffy, so have you ruffled my archives yet? & no, my email addy is not anywhere near my blog. why is your blog for only invited guests? wetin you dey hide?

cally-waffybabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Atutupoyoyo said...

Ol boy EFCC done finally catch you abi? Make u talk true for here o

Baroque said...

@CWB, you feel me huh! be only hear say i dey Renovate abi na Upgrade house for Abuja?...i dey oh...a bit too much on my plate now...brb

Zephi said...

ahh you just had to leave me hanging right there.when are you going to update?

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