Thursday, 27 November 2008

My A to Z

To all the bloggers who obliged me with their ONE WORDS...I remain exceedingly thankful

Alpha Romeo, too fast, too furious, too expensive
Bubbling with my new irrepressible feeling of positivity
Celibacy is to Gay Bishops as Masturbation is to Ex-Presidents
Deosculate, Angelina Jolie
Ego kneaded with a little sweet almond oil won’t kill anyone
Fuck, strictly vaginal
Goat, knife, water, salt, pepper, onions, spices, scent leaves, udder...& of course maggi cubes
Dr. Napoleon’s malicious attempt to mystify me with Haitian hula tricks
Iridescent, buy a new
television and stop slapping the sides
Juvenileness, Remand Home, Abeokuta
Karma, back to sender
Lunatic, Rear Admiral Harry Olufemi Arogundade
Minds Eye, if only...
Nipple, the harder the better
Orgasmic, climax doesn’t always feel like
Phoenix might just be my uniquely remarkable self
Quality of life by Kellogg’s Credit Crunchies
Razzness, damn right practical and realistic
Sexagenarian, free medical services at UPTH
Time by
Romain Jerome
Unorthodox Ultraclean Penetration, absolutely no need for protection
Virgin, Uncle Richie’s (Branson) brand
Woes and more unto
Xenophobia, unless maybe Lebanese and maybe Afghans...
Yummy, mumsy’s okazi soup with dry fish and snails
Zebra Crossing, No cars are passing, its just reality flashing

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Your A to Z

I have been meaning to do a POST about NOTHING in particular but about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING under TWENTY SIX (26) headlines. I started it and couldn’t focus on ONE WORD PER LETTER hence I Ctrl-A, Del and proceeded to delete the file from my Blog folder.

Now I need all of you, at least twenty six (26), to drop ONE WORD comments here in ALPHABETICAL ORDER, starting (of course) from A, with words that you want as sub-topics. It is one word per alphabet PLEASE. Say no more after your ONE WORD.

They may be any words, WHATEVER COMES TO MIND (simple or compound words) and I will write in few words my thoughts about it, maybe referring to me.

The only rules that apply are that the comments must be in alphabetical order, the FIRST ONE being an A word, such that the person with the 13th comment, writes one word that begins with the letter M.

And a little twist, ONE COMMENT PER PERSON.
In cases of MISTAKES, NON-COMPLIANCE or REPETITIONS, the less preferred one would be DELETED, possibly giving the 'COMMENTOR' another spot.

All rights to DISALLOW comments are reserved.

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

Sexy Miss Glade

Clad in a burgundy Roberto Cavalli shirt tucked neatly into my well ironed boot cut black Zara trousers on a hot Sunday afternoon , feeling cool. I was thinking, how some days in church can be so boring and how else we would know that the other days are not, besides my looking vainly at everything that showed an image of me, no matter how unclear.
I saw sweat streaks outside the area covered by my inner vest, so I increased the air-conditioning on more step the moment I got in the car. It was a really hot day although the sun seemed like it had found solace behind thick clouds.

Knowing the emptiness of my refrigerator and the resounding void in my stomach from the hunger tormenting my very existence, I thought about the several bouts of sex I was engaged in the previous night with the floozy I met at Ola’s party 3 weeks ago. I headed downtown to the big shop owned by some Lebanese looking Indians, parked carefully like I always do and walked in.

Strolling down the pastries section looking lustfully at the items on the shelves, I walked straight through to the cold food section, then I saw them, a very nice pair of bum bum, not too huge, not to flat. Perfect to back into me or to ram continuously into. I begged GOD to pardon me, as I was just coming from church.

Her navy blue top bared some skin on her lower back even as the blue denims held fast as they swung from side to side. I walked past her so I could see her face, and then she turned and looked at me. “Not bad”, I said to myself seeing that she looked as old as I would have not minded and that made me decide I was going to make the move if the opportunity came.

It seemed now like I was stalking her because even as I acted like I was paying her no mind, carrying on my shopping, we happened into the same sections at the same times. All the time no hellos. She seemed to have noticed because she moved a lot more gracefully now, looking every now and then at me.

I pushed my almost basket to the home section and she was right at the spot, I walked up right beside her, nodded a greeting and bent over to select my favourite from the colourful array of Air Wick flavours. I closed my eyes trying to remember which of these ones I hadn’t used before, but not before I saw her sniffing her hand, I opened my eyes and sneaked a peek at her.

She had pulled the cover open and sprayed Glade Air Freshener on her arm and was sniffing it. Oh my God! I was in shock. This things only happen on TV. Then she sniffed again. "This is not a fucking perfume bitch” I said to myself. GOSH. I was returning the other on the shelf, and she did it again. It was unbelievable watching her trying to make a choice from the different fragrances like she was in World Duty Free perfumery.

I closed my eyes and wished my friend Jubrin was here to share this with. What a moment to waste. I grabbed 2 bottles of liquor to reinforce my fast depleting alcohol bar at home then headed to the till, there she was again.

This is all she had in the basket, big Dettol, a bag of french fries, one Kit Kat bar and Glade Air Freshener Lavender.

At that point I imagined she might have been only trying to impress me, showing me she knew how to sample and test fragrances. Please I will rather give myself a blow job. Pass.