Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Owerri Blues

I was quite young then but I knew when someone was not searching for his keys in my pocket. I woke up that night during one of those one-week holidays in Owerri; my mum was sleeping in the next room and my cousin was caressing my belly button area and my waistline.

His palm inside my pyjamas top stroking my chest down to my navel slowly roused me to the anticipation of sexual delight and the realisation of my already hard penis. Then, I guess I was very adventurous when it came to sexual matters, open to everything, provided pleasure was guaranteed.

Cos, five years older, with me only thirteen, seemed like he knew what he was doing when he unbuttoned my top and started sucking on my nipples. At this point I could not act like I was asleep anymore but remained still.

I remember taking a bath with him in the morning and ogling at his well hung frame. I was in awe but did a bad job at keeping my hands to myself. The resulting effect was the romance right here and now in his bed. At that age I was oblivious of the concept of lesbianism and homosexuality, had not the faintest idea what it demanded and therefore didn’t think good or bad of it. I was only eager to experience the pleasures that be.

He continued his mission down into my trousers unto my erect still ‘adolescenting’ dick. Nothing felt better than his lips on it. It felt so menacing yet so congenial. He continued sucking around the tight rim of my cap, under my balls then proceeded to rim me. I was twitching all over only just realising that such heights of pleasure really existed. I was blissed out.

Suddenly positions changed and I was required to perform the same procedure. I cannot remember him ejaculating semen but I stopped because I was tired not knowing how it was meant to end. We eventually dressed up, rolled over and slept till morning. I woke and realised I had just had the coolest dream in the world and that was it.

Another holiday was here again and we were bound to make another trip to Owerri again. My mother had just parked the car then stopped me before I had the chance to jump out. She maybe considering that I was now of a knowledgeable age decided to advice the first son of her womb about the harsh realities of this wicked world.

“Please be very careful with Cos” she started, “you know he was suspended from school for bad behaviour?” she asked

“I didn’t know that, what did he do?” I asked with genuine inquisitiveness

“Well, He was given indefinite suspension for practising homosexuality”

My jaw dropped, such rhema, then realised that, that was not a dream I had in Owerri during the other holiday. Oh my God. That is what it is!

“Be very careful around him, so he doesn’t try anything on you” she warned

“Yes mummy” I said with a renewed wisdom. There went my innocence, I felt so sick. I had become a man. Now I was in the know. I was not going to let it happen.

The nine days we spent in Owerri was not fun. He made advances on the first night, in vain, I succumbed on the second night then proceeded to dodge him the rest of the vacation, sometimes without success. Truthfully I enjoyed every bit of the rubbish we indulged in but since after I had that talk with my mother, my life had not remained the same. I felt a conscience. Now I know too much, I now knew I was not meant to be doing this. However, I think he was phasing because I knew he had girlfriends then, and was also fucking his sister’s school mother. This character might have been applicably bisexual.

We never talked about those episodes and they fizzled out. Now we are grown men chasing women together whenever our planets collide. He’s got a kid with his wifey, a black beauty from The Gambia.

I am 273% straight, totally unscathed and will never be with a man, but I can only speak for myself.

Friday, 14 March 2008


I know
I know
this time its for real and
I know she’ll be jealous
I know so
I know I’m gonna get very hungry after this post
and I know I don’t know what I want to eat
I know Jesus is Lord
I so know that
I know that preparation precedes performance
I know it felt really good when I saw my last payslip
I know
I know Obasanjo will die and go to hell
I know that Odili will be right behind him
I know
I know I love Isi’s blog and she loves mine too
I know I might never be perfect but I do my best
I know a stitch in time saves nine
I know
I know if I put my heart to it, I can achieve it
I know I need to lose some weight
I know
I know that sex makes the world go round
I know say wetin dey kill person go first block him ear
and I know say trouble no good
I know
I know
too much
I know that I will tag the first 6 chics that come to mind
and I know you’ll do me comment about it

Blackjamesbond, thanks for letting me borrow without asking

Tagged - Isi, Hengish, Bumight, Desperate Lady, Tyger and Lighty

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Do I Love Your Ways?

I hate you dislike Bob Marley

I love you know the right words to say

I hate you leave me in emotional limbo

I love you find me fairly humorous

I hate red nail varnish on your toes

I love to smell your hair when I hold you

I hate you don’t let me in my kitchen

I love you slicing onions and pounding yam

I hate you can be needlessly pessimistic

I love you say ‘yeah baby’ when I call

I hate you have too many shoes

I love the clothes you buy me are spot on

I hate you can’t take simple driving instructions

I love long trips with you as my companion

I hate how much attention you give your novels

I love you always select the best movies for the evening

I hate you make we wait for ages

I love you cosset me when my back hurts

I hate you dot all the T’s and cross all the I’s

I’m in love with the love we make