Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Owerri Blues

I was quite young then but I knew when someone was not searching for his keys in my pocket. I woke up that night during one of those one-week holidays in Owerri; my mum was sleeping in the next room and my cousin was caressing my belly button area and my waistline.

His palm inside my pyjamas top stroking my chest down to my navel slowly roused me to the anticipation of sexual delight and the realisation of my already hard penis. Then, I guess I was very adventurous when it came to sexual matters, open to everything, provided pleasure was guaranteed.

Cos, five years older, with me only thirteen, seemed like he knew what he was doing when he unbuttoned my top and started sucking on my nipples. At this point I could not act like I was asleep anymore but remained still.

I remember taking a bath with him in the morning and ogling at his well hung frame. I was in awe but did a bad job at keeping my hands to myself. The resulting effect was the romance right here and now in his bed. At that age I was oblivious of the concept of lesbianism and homosexuality, had not the faintest idea what it demanded and therefore didn’t think good or bad of it. I was only eager to experience the pleasures that be.

He continued his mission down into my trousers unto my erect still ‘adolescenting’ dick. Nothing felt better than his lips on it. It felt so menacing yet so congenial. He continued sucking around the tight rim of my cap, under my balls then proceeded to rim me. I was twitching all over only just realising that such heights of pleasure really existed. I was blissed out.

Suddenly positions changed and I was required to perform the same procedure. I cannot remember him ejaculating semen but I stopped because I was tired not knowing how it was meant to end. We eventually dressed up, rolled over and slept till morning. I woke and realised I had just had the coolest dream in the world and that was it.

Another holiday was here again and we were bound to make another trip to Owerri again. My mother had just parked the car then stopped me before I had the chance to jump out. She maybe considering that I was now of a knowledgeable age decided to advice the first son of her womb about the harsh realities of this wicked world.

“Please be very careful with Cos” she started, “you know he was suspended from school for bad behaviour?” she asked

“I didn’t know that, what did he do?” I asked with genuine inquisitiveness

“Well, He was given indefinite suspension for practising homosexuality”

My jaw dropped, such rhema, then realised that, that was not a dream I had in Owerri during the other holiday. Oh my God. That is what it is!

“Be very careful around him, so he doesn’t try anything on you” she warned

“Yes mummy” I said with a renewed wisdom. There went my innocence, I felt so sick. I had become a man. Now I was in the know. I was not going to let it happen.

The nine days we spent in Owerri was not fun. He made advances on the first night, in vain, I succumbed on the second night then proceeded to dodge him the rest of the vacation, sometimes without success. Truthfully I enjoyed every bit of the rubbish we indulged in but since after I had that talk with my mother, my life had not remained the same. I felt a conscience. Now I know too much, I now knew I was not meant to be doing this. However, I think he was phasing because I knew he had girlfriends then, and was also fucking his sister’s school mother. This character might have been applicably bisexual.

We never talked about those episodes and they fizzled out. Now we are grown men chasing women together whenever our planets collide. He’s got a kid with his wifey, a black beauty from The Gambia.

I am 273% straight, totally unscathed and will never be with a man, but I can only speak for myself.


cally-waffybabe said...

I can remember you writing about a similar incident sometime last year when you first came into blogville. Is this the same person? He really did take advantage of your innocence.

I'm glad you're over it now and don't feel abused. At least you can now talk about it.

Here's a big hug and kiss from me.

Muah muah muah


ablackjamesbond said...

lol @ 273% straight.

bumight said...

wow! even though you enjoyed it then, it's still sexual abuse. sha, I'm glad u're 273% straight, lol!

Baroque said...

@CWB, yea, that should have been my second post...he's the one i spoke about...truth is i was not so vey innocent was just unaware...thanks for the big kiss & hug

@theblack007, u know what i mean!

@bumight, thanks, even if na for only you, i gats be u see am? holla

Lighty said...

yep! i remember this too.

ummm some serious stuvvs. why is it always crazy cousins?(i think it has 2 so with the last 3 letters in the word) i av had very unclear episode of sunthing of this sort due to the fact i was much younger say about 3 and am sure she must av been 16 or 17 then if i guess right.

to be honest i think they also dont know wot they do is not right. am sure they probably must av been ignorant of the facts surrounding thier acts.
cos my cousin is married with 3 kids now sef. anyway that is a story 4 another day.

and baroque i believe u're 3005% straight. dont sweat.

Tyger said...

ah! ohmeGod! my blog boyfy is gay! was gay!... i knew it! you sounded too good to be true!... okay... warrever! i'm just messing with you!

but that guy was abusing you na! agbaya oshi!

Ms. Catwalq said...

If this is true and not fictional, I applaud the honesty of the tale...certain things are...just what they are.
I only hope he has stopped practicising on the that he is married

Idemili said...

OK, Baroque I'm confused.

You said "I was quite young then but I knew when someone was not searching for his keys in my pocket." That shows awareness of sexual awakening.

You also said: "Then, I guess I was very adventurous when it came to sexual matters, open to everything, provided pleasure was guaranteed." and also " At this point I could not act like I was asleep anymore but remained still."

You also confessed to not being able to keep your hands to yourself when you saw him bathing naked. And yet in subsequent paragraphs, you made it seem like he had taken advantage of you and you were a naive 'victim'.

Are you trying to say this? Or merely to explain that once your mother had warned you about 'Homosexuality' and it had been given a name it lost its appeal, became repulsive? A societal taboo? Because if you are trying to make it seem like you didn't know what you were doing and you thought that you were asleep, I don't really buy that. The truth is, most of us have experienced some sort of homosexual encounter growing up and yet are straight. It's called 'Transient homosexuality' and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

It sounded to me like you were open to and quite enjoyed your encounter with this cousin and yet are afraid to admit it for fear of denting your 273% straightness. You don't need to be. Telling this story is macho enough.

If I got it all wrong and you were abused, I do sincerely apologise. and I will eat my scarf. And maybe kiss your cheek.

Jaja said...

I will be candid to tell you that I found the first few paragraphs a bit disturbing. I don't know why..

Of course you are Brave to have told this story, but I sort of see what Ide is trying to question.

Sexuality is complex. Contrary to modern text, I believe our Choices as well define us..

I shall be back

Baroque said...

@Lighty, yea 3005% straight, you know what I mean. (&am sure you mean the last 4 letters) I agree, they might not have been aware of the facts surrounding their acts, but at their ages, it was almost criminal not to be.

@gurlfy,(tyger)…I am as good as I sound, common, that’s why you love me so… don’t mess with me sugar…I dunno if ‘abuse’ is defined based on the act itself or with respect to the actions of the other party (me, in this case) but I know I gave consent, even if by law I might have been in no position to

@catty, this is not fictional though abit tinkered with for prose sake. you say, practicing on the side, like it’s a professional service, nutty you. The entire family (plus extended too) is aware of his earlier decadent ways but I don’t think anyone judged him like that, the adults say he was young and foolish, in fact whenever the entire family gets together he & the rest of the other guys are the ones spearheading the life of un-queer debauchery.

What I know is that he’s just an ass kicking kickboxing mudafuka, seriously now into freefight in the UK where he lives. My aunt (his mum) know not about this, so no shout.

@Ide, alas, my dear, I was sexually aware, just didn’t realize it had to have an identity. The last thing I’ll do is claim I was taken advantage of or that I was a victim, least of all a na├»ve one…I’ll only say it like this, if I was to throw blame, I can claim so, seeing that he was much older, he should have known better.

&you couldn’t have put it better, my mum warning me about it, just gave it an identity, then it lost its appeal and became highly abhorrent, the societal taboo. I couldn’t act like I was asleep anymore because I was now awake & he knew and then again I remained still because I couldn’t possibly start wriggling in pleasure. &thanks for the disclosure, Transient Homosexuality, I know what you mean & gladly I feel no shame.

After that story, I thought I had to reaffirm to the world and to myself that my straightness was 3005%, at least for the records. I no fit shout.

I don’t know if I was abused because I never felt as such. So, my sweet baby don’t eat your scarf just warm those soft lips of yours and embalm that kiss for when you see me. no prizing.

@jaja, dont tell me you’re confused too. (I just noticed that you’re the first man to comment on this post(not like it means anything though))…you know what guys, I just told a story about something I really didn’t give a shit about, but now looking at it from the eyes of the world, it actually is a brave thing telling it. I just didn’t feel it that way. I hold no direct grudges against the mudafuka, he’s just an ass, that’s all.

Isi said...

baroque, this is frightening o!
when i read ish like this i feel like my adolescence was bland...u guys lived right on the edge!

how crazy is dat!

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

first of all i aplaud your boldness for talking about this topic....
Speaking for myself, when I was younger I engaged in sexual activities of the same sex and opposite sex...I did not know it had a name.. I just did it cos it felt good or my innocent mind I never knew what I was doing until i I knew and became yeah.
if most people are transperent enough they will fess up to such experiences

guerreiranigeriana said...

hmmmnnnn...i applaud you for speaking/sharing've scrambled my brain with this one only because there is something i want to say, but can't quite remember...i'll come back..

Baroque said...

@gnaija, pls do come back...i'm waiting

naijalines said...

This is deep...but one thing is clear, the 'consent' of any child who unwittingly engages in sexual activity cannot be said to exist for the very reason that it's a child that's involved. Most legal systems support this: that a child cannot in principle consent to any sexual activity.

What makes this scenario more complex is the fact that two children are involved. So what we have here is in fact two victims. Research shows most children who perform sexual acts on other children are themselves victims of sexual abuse where an adult has been involved.

So it's quite likely here that the 13 year old child-perpetrator here was a victim himself.

Thanks for this insightful post which raises questions but will hopefully clarify some issues too.

Mocha said...

Hmmm...I know say no be abuse den abuse you but thinking about it,my mind don reach anutha side...a child's main aim/objective really is pleasure.
Not pleasure laced with sexuality like it becomes more often than not when we "get older" but I suppose pleasure in its purest form..enjoyment..
As children, we took and sought pleasure unless we were told otherwise.
So I suppose thats where the concept "children NEED boundaries" comes from..unless we for jus dey take take take until the tin comot our eye!

But seriously its THIS that gets preyed on..this innocent claim to life that children have..and its so unfortunate that there's enuff crap in the world to give them "wary eyes"..have you ever been looked at with distrust by a child???
There's no worse be even say den no trust you..but that den GET reason NOT to!
There's so much s**t coming that they need that "unaware time" so badly..while they have it, for as long as they can have it..

(Ok this one na post!

You try no be small..I think at some point there was that "crazy cousin" for most of us..awareness sucks a**

Mocha said...

I'm abhorring abuse by the way, in case that got lost in my "post" ;-)

Shubby Doo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shubby Doo said...

i'm started of with a little giggle and now i'm LMAO...nope i'm roaring!!! nothing do you abeg! i went to an all girls school...i shall say no more!!!;-)