Monday, 2 March 2009

Overgrown Bia-Bia & Other Tales

It’s been a while and I’ve not been able to coordinate myself to write a post.

A few things have been hovering and I’ve been pondering. I’ve been feeling very drowsy a lot lately, and that includes this moment. I wonder why. It feels like I have just popped some
mild prescription sedatives once I have had lunch. This is madness, I think I am pregnant.

I am getting sicker and most tired of this city Port Harcourt and want out, by any means possible, as it were. Is I too much to ask to have cinemas here? Infact, lets not go there. Abuja here I come.

In the past few weeks no doubt I have met some new people and had interesting times. I read a
book and sojourned to a far away country, even before my boss permitted, I was gone.

I haven’t gotten over the beauty of my friends house, where she lives with her husband, one of them is into exteriors and décor. What they have is a home. I'm getting mine soon.

I would love to drive a new
car but can’t quite spend that money at the moment. I have to move out of my house to where I will no longer share parking space. I have a home design in process; still thinking if I should include a pool. Got a bit of space. Any thoughtz?

I have lusted badly after someone I barely know. I thought those days were gone. It’s been not very easy being celibate, well not like I really am. I shagged an old flame without protection during the week. & it was good, sue me.

I want to go to the gym today. I think I have gotten out of shape. I was breathing very hard after jumping a few flights of staircase, maybe it was the cold. Anyway, thanks to that cold, my heat rashes are gone.

My fridge is empty. I have once again, and again, postponed my trip to the shops. If only there was an Tesco or ASDA or Lidl near my house, alas I have to swin traffic to get to Everyday Emporium, forget Park n Shop, they don’t have proper toothpaste or soap there.

I slept at about 2:30am last night, because I had taken a nap earlier. I was so horny I couldn’t resist the urge to do porn. Sadly, it made it worse. (of course I knew that was going to happen)

So much money have I been spending lately on call cards. Its like I run a pay as you go call centre.

I think I am loosing it. This pressure is too much. The pain in my left thumb has not subsided even after four weeks. I sprained it doing on sharp driving move like that, fuck that Aba bus driver.

Did I mention, I might be writing soon for a magazine, but I think they want me to do free work. I no go gree. God will vindicate them. LOL

I think I need a pedicure but I’m not yet ready to loose the this four week old beard yet.
Meanwhile, did you hear about Badderchic and Baroque? (Her last 4 posts) Don’t believe everything you read.

51 comments:

Jayla. said...

PH is so boring these days........infact nothing's really happening there anymore.

eh yaaaa, sorry

Temite said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Uncle, pele o. Sorry. It go better. No worries. This was sort sad. Hope you are ok. and that no-protection bit is dangerous o uncle. Are u suicidal? or depressed? hmmmmmm. Are there practising therapists in Nigeria?

mizchif said...

Ah, sue u ke....no need to sue, nobody can carry gonococus or staphylorhea 4 u.
Hope u get all your wishes and much more. Goodluck with the house, car, and even the celibacy situation.

On the matter of bArOqUe and badder, since we shdn't believe everything we read, come and clarity now.

bumight said...

B,
maybe u are pregnant! LOL!

1. i didnt know u were celibate
2. dont like the sound of the "...without protection" , maybe thats how u got pregnant!
3. erm....maybe you do need that pedicure!
4. i know A LOT about pressures...hang in there!

Original Mgbeke said...

Pee H, Pee H. Man I miss PH sha but like Jayla tok, the place don dry serious dryness. I keep telling my ma, if I move back to Naija na lagos I dey waka go o. Either way, PH days were good and its always nice to run into some ol' PH cats out and about.
Hmmm so you are celibate ehn? I hope the shag was good o, I hope say ol' girl no go 'burn' you. :-D
Sure, include a pool if you can maintain it. Any excuse for a pool party or two, yeah? lol
Good to see you updating, continue to maintain o.

RocNaija said...

Sounds like a bit of a dry rot at the moment..
But at least you're getting some.. so it can't be that bad..
or can it..?

Ms Sula said...

Afrobabe, you need to come put an end to this man's misery, please :).

You do sound pregnant.

No protection? In this day and age? Dude? For real? I'm just sayin', we need to be more careful... is all.

Celibate while having s3x with no protection? How does that work? :D

Ms.O said...

Really PH is that dulling? and here I was looking forward to going back after 6 yrs away..sigh.
Take it easy. Take a vacation!

Buttercup said...

Wow..total randomness right there..

I pray u get ur dream house n car soon..if i cant get a lambo, i intend to settle for a merc..lol..

Hmm maybe u r a woman after all..that wud be rather disappointing tho..

Sowee bout ur thumb :( . Getting some while being celibate, huh? Interesting. Oh, please go n get tested asap, abeg!

Padosh said...

Now all this talk is making a sister mega horny..., Its a pity im not in PH, we coulda gotten "creative" and figured out many ways to cure our depression, a hard on is a sad thing to waste i say....,

@ your condom-less escapade ...., haha,hehe, hoho wat can i say...at least it was good sex so even if u catch anything u can say it was almost worth it.....NOT!!

Of course i dont believe badderchic.....,only cos on those days she wrote about u and her, you were with me!!!!

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Hope you get that house pretty soon
as for the condomless sex you dont need to be sued you need to be given a big slap accross the cheek. as for you and badder u say 'dont believe everything you read huh? I will start but not believing you lol

Rita said...

LOL...where is the bia-bia?

Take it easy...

You'll get a "home" when you're ready for it...

OluwaDee said...

Yep you are pregnant!

The band was real good. And they are very affordable.

kmplx said...

tough one. ndo. overgrown bia-bia is cool. let me know when you start writing.

Afrobabe said...

ok first of all...what does Afrobabe have to do with this post? why my name dey the label abi u waiting for me to come relieve the pain caused by Badder???

Secondly, though blogville likes to preach, we all occasionally have unprotected sex,we might feel guilty and ashamed the next day but we do it..

otherwise why do we shake like jely when we go for checkups? why do we panic when we dont see periods...I read this posts all the time and these same ppl are the first to turn up their nose at the no protection thing..
That said, biko no unprotected sex, aint good for the heartbeat!

No, you are not pregnant, not yet....wait till we meet!

bArOquE said...

~JayLa, well, somethings are still happening, we get to catch some mad fun every now & then, but no cinemas & posh barz like that…FYI, PH is quite a small city & only that we could do better

~tEmitE, I know oh…but with that chic, I go suicidal…GOD help me…& I don’t think it’s the depression, maybe a weakness for her always wet hole

~miZchif, LOL@gonococus or staphylorhea. thanx, we shall soon break ground, but asper the celibacy…I doubt…wetin you wan make I clarify? I don’t kiss & tell

~bumBum, yes oh, the way my body dey do me these dayz…LMHO
1. I am NOT celibate
2. maybe oh, that’s how I got pregnant
3. I sure do need that pedicure
4. thanks, I shall surely hang on
kisses

~oriGenulMgbekZ, no fear PH is jamming, but for we that own the city…e get as e dey tire person…I need fresh blood *wink* …yes oh, the shag wa MAAAD…& i don’t think I’m getting ‘burned’…thanx4caring…about that pool... *wink again*

~rOcnaiJa, I got some & working on some other today

~mSsuLa, abeg help me call her oh…(she’s downstairs)…shey I sound pregnant.LOL.i will be more careful, but no promises…& who is celibate? Me?

bArOquE said...

~Ms.O, no not really, PH get life, hot chics & things, na me just tire…please note, “…sojourned to a far away country”…I only got back a week days ago

~buTTershizzle, abi oh, mad randomness...LOL...so, you like that my Merc? ME woman ke? I be tranny! LOL…the thumb just tire me, thanks

~pAdosh, you eh, na better strong prick na im you need…we can sure come up with creative ways to cure my craze…don’t mind Badder joo, too much salt she add for the soup

~MissDM, that house eh, I need am die…I cant wait to have my own bbqs & pool parties!...but why you wan slap me sef? that one don pass, leave am

~RitA, the bia-bia is all over the face, except of course my forehead.LOL. are we ever ready for the home thing? na to just start, no be am?

~olUwadEe, interesting? what does affordable mean to you? (in $)

~kmplx, I will let you know

~aFrobAby, you have it all…as Queen has abandoned me, I turn to you…or should I go away? sorry...meanwhile, the saying goes like, “do as I say not as I do”, people do unpro but will not advice you to…I promise, I wont do it again…I will wait for you

~Sirius~ said...

Will be back for a proper comment- Leave the city, I think it's draining you....come join us on the crazy side.

StandTall-The Activist said...

You are surely loosing it my brova since you are now thinking you are pregnant. LOL

miz-cynic said...

mmmmmm...im commenting late once again....this means like the true arian...i got tired of stalking this blog....eeh yah....wish u good luck in all ur endeavors i.e the magazine,i think pple freelance first....before they start getting paid.i like the pool idea thou......somewhere where i can be be"alone" me and my thots and soothing water evn thou i cant swim.can relate with the way ur feeling thou....been feeling kinda like tht lately.

Quaggar said...

Bet u just need a breath of fresh air, change of environs... lol @ being preggie. If na so, i shd have 4kids by now.

For someone celibate and skinny-dipping, wonder how it is when u're randy. LOL. Tkia bro

LusciousRon said...

Like Bumight said maybe you are indeed pregnant! Hehehe

NoLimit said...

Hope your thumb get's better...
No gree for them magazine people o! collect your dutch to the last penny!
Ermm you need a pedicure but you don't wanna lose the beard?...ermmmmm...okayyyy...I'm trying not to assume!
Enjoy...

Smaragd said...

uh oh! Baroque is having a "phase" or sth like that sha... pele, "it" too shall pass i tell u, take my word for it, i am the queen of feeling like this, "in limbo"...lol

bArOquE said...

~siRius, join you on what crazy side? you no see say na Abuja I dey eye? I need am, die

~`StanDtalltheActivatOr, my dear, the thing tire me oh, even as I took the morning after pill sef…LMHO

~mRsCynic, late comer…LOL…do youself a favour, go & learn how to swim…you never can tell when the water might come to you…are you pregnant too?

~Quaggar, you’re welcome here anytime…so have you been aborting all your pregnancies? hahaha…when I’m horny eh, na wildfire oh…walls cant contain

~LuciOusrOn, & you’re laughing…see your big head

~NoLimit, I was at the gym yesterday & the thumb was in the way of my dumbbells…I tire…see nonsense…meanwhile, wetin consine my bia bia & my toe nails nah....wetin you de assume

~eSmeralDa, so this pregnancy don catch you too? thanks oh, GOD dey

wordmerchant said...

Who is the baby mama?...they did a hit and run eh? lol...that's want you get for not using condoms.

As per the house, you must definatlely have a pool..its essential.

ibiluv said...

well you did shag without protection so you *may* be preggers

Dont worry send a petition to Ben Bruce

I Hate friends like that...*wink*...they make my mum's place look shabby...i plan to make them help me do up my pad.....*wink*

new car..........*sigh*........me too

pool.....where else would you and i do the dirty?????

i know you have been lusting baby...i'm luscious!!!!!!

sans protection...so long as we dont tell...no one can judge us.....and so long as the doctor says we are clean.....no one need know we did it without......

its HOT in Lag....where did PH get the cold weather?????

come on-get out and stock up

i've been staying away from porn myself-dry humping isnt what my body needs

I have no idea where people buy call cards...*wink*

let me kiss your thumb.....

magazine....squeal to moi...so i get read you.....

wetin pediucure get to do with beard????

bArOquE said...

~worDmerChant, hit & run oh...big time...hahaha

~IbIluV, there are several secret things i can do to your lucious self, you know?...with & without protection, stop dry humping, you have me...
PH is quite the opposite of cold...did you miss the part about a sojourn? i went away for the while
pedicure & hail salon, same place
cant wait for that thumb kiss...& more *wink*

miz-cynic said...

@baroque:_will u teach me how to swim?...no tapping of current o.
not preggers but been feeling lethargic of late,dnt know why.

bArOquE said...

~miZCynic, why tap current when i can get the entire power supply for myself, or cant i?...come lets get naked & jump in, the water's fine

Just...Toluwa said...

write witout pay? which kain labor is dt!

sweetie, w/o protection? em, dnt do dt again, it scares me!

Tyger said...

Tyger reporting for duty!

Sorry i'm just showing my face

Didnt know you were celibate! hmmm

and you shagged someone without protection? that is outright crazy and how good it was doesnt count!

please go and see a doctor about that thumb!

dont do a pool... maintenance for a pool is high and a constant headache for those who have them...

its not like you swim everyday na! abi!

bArOquE said...

~jUsToluwz, come follow me see trouble...i promise i wont do it again with her

~tyGer, celibate? me? even that day the thumb was hurting...about that pool & high maintenance, you're very right

miz-cynic said...

so ur own teaching how to swim must involve people getting maked abi?ashewo!

Afrobabe said...

Go away keh...I just got my red scented satin sheets out just for u baby boy...

Deciding to be a bad girl has left me delirious with happiness...hehehehhe

bArOquE said...

~mizCynyk, e be like say you for like to wear cloth oh...you're not serious...my friend, off ya payint & bra make we enter water!

~AfroBaby, red scented satin sheets...the thoughts are gearing me towards the seventh heaven...Afro! Afro! Afro!...how many times i call you?

miz-cynic said...

lmao.honestly.u don kolo.d payint reminds me of one of ex sch nerds posts

Shubby Doo said...

Is it celibacy that drove u to shag an old flame or the did u do it for the hell of it? Whatever, we have all been there and done that...well I have. I doubt anybody will judge u for that but I am wondering what happened to pearly whites?

U aint preggers baroque just restless...hence the need to partake in an act of sowing your oats with unprotected sex. It's classic freud...as in sexual desire being the primary motivational energy of human life.

Now I am intrigued...I thought u had a thing for queen of my castle but u tagged tyger and afrobabe...hmmm...who are lustful for?!

And why the bloody hell is it not for me!!!

*kissing your thumb better*...but I can't help laughing HARD as i ponder which kain sharp driving move fit cause dis injury!

bArOquE said...

~mizCyik, LMHO...but na true i dey yarn so

~Shubby, shey you dreamt of me, breeze never blow, na im you open all my nyash finish...my lust (as you have put it) for QOMC is relentlessly undying...i cant wait to pick her off the ground...as4u, you be aje, i dont want to spoil you...mnwhile, about the thumb,
dont laugh oh, this insane Aba bus driver infront of me stops all of a sudden at the the foot of the bridge (on descent) to drop a passenger when he should have gone under. i went mad, then i proceeded to run the fool off the road, until i almost climbed the median, in the process of making the very sharp turn, i twisted my thumb in the return of the steering, it didnt hurt until that night...how are you by the way? missed you

theicequeen said...

40th!! hahahaha...nice round even number, couldn't resist...oya make i go read

theicequeen said...

mchuu, how you no go carry belle??! you see yasef? lol

even after the warning that PH is dry, you made me all nostalgic by mentionin everyday emporium...imagine the nonsense o! lolz...boredom dey carry me waka go that place too much..it's like three buildings away from momsiz work :(( i want PH!! dryness and all....

get the pool tho...so we fit organise partayyyysss hehe...and make thunda rape that pesin wey dey find mugu to do awuf work jare...after you write finish, na dash dem go dash people the magazine?

i am not ready to believe your denial of badderchic until i receive detailed explanation o!! you can whisper it if you want sha :P

Buttercup said...

lol..reading the comments alone are enough entertainment..

howz u????

bArOquE said...

~iceQ, really sha, did you just go to look at phones there? abeg joo com PH make i give yo small groovingz & tinz..,dont mind those magazine people oh, i know something nice will come out of it sha...so about badder, i'll tell you in person

~butterz,...as horny as an effin bitch!!!

theicequeen said...

lol...nope..phones are not my thing...perfumes and unnecessary shower gels and hair products v:D....in person ke? how i go dey wait half year for gist? myfrend stop that play o!

Buttercup said...

Dang..what the hell are you gonna do about that now?

bArOquE said...

~iceyQ...perfumes; my ultimate vice...shower gels i have a small stock of...well, we can cut that half a year closer, what say you? *wink*

~buTTershizzle, just left gidi, in PH now...& gotto get me some 'sugarz' b4 the night runs out...if not, i fit wake up with apollo for one eye.LOL

Queen of My Castle said...

How are you, Hunny Bee? I've always wanted to write a sex/relationship column for a mag. I hope they do pay you for your services.

SMOOCHES!!!!!!!!

Tyger said...

how far with the thumb?

you seen a doctor now?

is it better now?

holla out

theicequeen said...

perfumes??! you too!!!?? oh lets bond over that, shall we? and shower gels too? you're temptin me!!! :P..it's uh...one month less than half a year away lol....i cannot wait that long for gist so you berra gist me the gist..you HIA me?

bArOquE said...

~QOMyH, well, it seems like i got the job b4 you *wink* i hope they pay sha...
PS: i can do with those smooches right now, you have no idea

~Tyger, that thumb has not healed, the annoying thing is fucking up my work out, i cant lift dumbells

~iCequEEn, i am gradually overcoming the perfume nemesis, last time i got only 2...as against the regular 6...maybe we could share shower gels...cant we make it in shorter time? *wink*

theicequeen said...

lol...prefumaholics anonymous :P...and if you pray hard enough...maybe...just maybe ;)