“The number you have called is not available at the moment, please try again later” said the MTN voice. This was after I had #31# the number, because I was not sure if I should call Nma again.
Again, would be because I had called her last night and we had had this very lewd and publicly offensive discourse on the phone, which should have been Phone III. It started from a Presentez Vous concept. I had never heard a woman being described like that before however it ended in one very PG21, strong language, explicit lyrics, viewer discretion required presentation; only the sex and violence remained.
Its Thursday morning, we’re standing at the arrivals, waiting to claim her checked-in suitcase, I had just arrived Lagos with my new colleague, my protégée as I would love to call her. Eve had only joined us less than eight months ago, after the completion of a Masters degree in the UK, and was drafted into my team, smart chic though. “How come you have a checked-in luggage for a two day meeting, abi you no dey come back” I queried.
She is also Lee’s kid sister; Lee is a friend from secondary school. However I had met her before when she interned with my company three of four years ago, this was after not seeing her since she was a very little girl.
She’s telling me the suitcase is quite empty that it belonged to her cousin in Lagos and how it was the perfect opportunity for her to give it back, before my phone rings. Without looking at it, I put one finger in the air asking for a minute and push the answer button on the blue tooth ear piece fitted in my left ear.
“Yello!?”
“Morning Romeo!” recognising the voice, I smile and moved away for some privacy.
I reply still smiling, “My Juliet, how are you doing?” in a jolly tone. I was in a good mood because I had a groovy weekend ahead of me; I was going to be in Lagos till Sunday morning, of course the approval came after a very annoying debate with my boss over what I was meant to be doing at the meeting, the notion I was representing, and his insisting I come back after work on Friday. Imagine the mudhaf*kr trying to make me pass up a Friday night in Lagos, is he mad? Not on his life.
“I had just tried your number and it said it wasn’t available” I said to Nma.
“The network has been terrible. Anyway, I thought I’d let you know I’m still in Lagos trying to sort out missing luggage issues with these Air France guys here, they say I’m getting it before the weekend, hopefully”
Missing luggage! Talk about being violated. It feels like one is stripped and made to walk through town, unshaven members and all dangling and swinging for the world to size up.
“I hope say no be there our goods dey oh, abeg. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll get it back” I say reassuringly
“I hope so too. Yea, so how are you? I hope you slept well last night?” she asks.
“I did, thank you”
“Well, I didn’t, thank you” she says
“You didn’t? What did I do?” I asked innocently
“More like, what didn’t you do?” she answered back
“Well, I’ve got a meeting to be at later this morning, and I’m trying to sort myself out”
“You don’t sound like you are in an office, it seems a bit noisy”
“Yea, very noisy. I’m at the airport”
“Avionics meeting?” she asks in jest
I reply with this big grin on my face, “Very funny! Just arriving Lagos for my meeting”
“You’re kidding me, you are in Lagos? You didn’t tell me you were coming to Lag”
“I thought I did”, knowing fully well that I didn’t. “Anyway, I’m right here in Lagos. I just dey reach” I continued
She heaves and after a few seconds she says, “Ok, now I’m not sure exactly why it felt like my heart missed a beat. Or two”
“Maybe it’s because you’re not sure you want to meet me after last night’s conversation” I say blatantly
“I so want to meet you, you have no idea, but there’s this very uneasy feeling about it, should I trust you, player?”
“Player! My dear, it’s totally up to you to trust or not and to what extent you want to take it. I shall not be held responsible for your mis-endeavours. However, you can trust that as long as it is within my reach, I shall pleasure you to refusal”
“You don start? I have not gotten over yesterday’s conversation. You have a dirty mind you know?”
“I do? You nko?” I replied
“This is really strange, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life”
“Then why you are scared of meeting me?”
“I’m not scared of meeting you?” she says sounding very sure “Just unsure if want to, just yet. Trying to be careful”
“Yeah, you know, I just might be a serial killer, trying to make a bag off your hide”
“Even if here na America, I no fear you” she says sarcastically
“It then means I’m seeing you today”
“Don’t even go there” she warns
After going back and forth about the impending rendezvous, we agree to do an early Friday evening. If her description is anything to go by, then I want to meet her today. Let’s get this show on the road. By this time, Eve had gotten her suitcase and we were heading for the exit to find the driver and make our way first to Onikan for our meeting.
“Alrighty then, see you tomorrow” she says
“Call me when you’re done, let’s see what happens” I hang up.
This time, piss no dey catch me.
Again, would be because I had called her last night and we had had this very lewd and publicly offensive discourse on the phone, which should have been Phone III. It started from a Presentez Vous concept. I had never heard a woman being described like that before however it ended in one very PG21, strong language, explicit lyrics, viewer discretion required presentation; only the sex and violence remained.
Its Thursday morning, we’re standing at the arrivals, waiting to claim her checked-in suitcase, I had just arrived Lagos with my new colleague, my protégée as I would love to call her. Eve had only joined us less than eight months ago, after the completion of a Masters degree in the UK, and was drafted into my team, smart chic though. “How come you have a checked-in luggage for a two day meeting, abi you no dey come back” I queried.
She is also Lee’s kid sister; Lee is a friend from secondary school. However I had met her before when she interned with my company three of four years ago, this was after not seeing her since she was a very little girl.
She’s telling me the suitcase is quite empty that it belonged to her cousin in Lagos and how it was the perfect opportunity for her to give it back, before my phone rings. Without looking at it, I put one finger in the air asking for a minute and push the answer button on the blue tooth ear piece fitted in my left ear.
“Yello!?”
“Morning Romeo!” recognising the voice, I smile and moved away for some privacy.
I reply still smiling, “My Juliet, how are you doing?” in a jolly tone. I was in a good mood because I had a groovy weekend ahead of me; I was going to be in Lagos till Sunday morning, of course the approval came after a very annoying debate with my boss over what I was meant to be doing at the meeting, the notion I was representing, and his insisting I come back after work on Friday. Imagine the mudhaf*kr trying to make me pass up a Friday night in Lagos, is he mad? Not on his life.
“I had just tried your number and it said it wasn’t available” I said to Nma.
“The network has been terrible. Anyway, I thought I’d let you know I’m still in Lagos trying to sort out missing luggage issues with these Air France guys here, they say I’m getting it before the weekend, hopefully”
Missing luggage! Talk about being violated. It feels like one is stripped and made to walk through town, unshaven members and all dangling and swinging for the world to size up.
“I hope say no be there our goods dey oh, abeg. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll get it back” I say reassuringly
“I hope so too. Yea, so how are you? I hope you slept well last night?” she asks.
“I did, thank you”
“Well, I didn’t, thank you” she says
“You didn’t? What did I do?” I asked innocently
“More like, what didn’t you do?” she answered back
“Well, I’ve got a meeting to be at later this morning, and I’m trying to sort myself out”
“You don’t sound like you are in an office, it seems a bit noisy”
“Yea, very noisy. I’m at the airport”
“Avionics meeting?” she asks in jest
I reply with this big grin on my face, “Very funny! Just arriving Lagos for my meeting”
“You’re kidding me, you are in Lagos? You didn’t tell me you were coming to Lag”
“I thought I did”, knowing fully well that I didn’t. “Anyway, I’m right here in Lagos. I just dey reach” I continued
She heaves and after a few seconds she says, “Ok, now I’m not sure exactly why it felt like my heart missed a beat. Or two”
“Maybe it’s because you’re not sure you want to meet me after last night’s conversation” I say blatantly
“I so want to meet you, you have no idea, but there’s this very uneasy feeling about it, should I trust you, player?”
“Player! My dear, it’s totally up to you to trust or not and to what extent you want to take it. I shall not be held responsible for your mis-endeavours. However, you can trust that as long as it is within my reach, I shall pleasure you to refusal”
“You don start? I have not gotten over yesterday’s conversation. You have a dirty mind you know?”
“I do? You nko?” I replied
“This is really strange, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life”
“Then why you are scared of meeting me?”
“I’m not scared of meeting you?” she says sounding very sure “Just unsure if want to, just yet. Trying to be careful”
“Yeah, you know, I just might be a serial killer, trying to make a bag off your hide”
“Even if here na America, I no fear you” she says sarcastically
“It then means I’m seeing you today”
“Don’t even go there” she warns
After going back and forth about the impending rendezvous, we agree to do an early Friday evening. If her description is anything to go by, then I want to meet her today. Let’s get this show on the road. By this time, Eve had gotten her suitcase and we were heading for the exit to find the driver and make our way first to Onikan for our meeting.
“Alrighty then, see you tomorrow” she says
“Call me when you’re done, let’s see what happens” I hang up.
This time, piss no dey catch me.
