Thursday, 4 October 2007

Which Way Naij?

Ever heard the phrase, a fool at forty is a fool forever? What then do we say about a fool at 47?

Where are we driving madly to? Port Harcourt people, where una dey go? The traffic lights (speaking of the ones that work) are for my grandmother serenely asleep in her crypt. Nobody seems to notice the lights unless there is a uniformed man with a stick there to caution or punish disobedient drivers and act as a traffic man in case of the power failure that is definitely bound to happen.

I have just gotten home from work and can barely hear myself because of my neighbour’s cassava grinding machine called a generator, right now, I have no reason to turn mine on. If you no pass your neighbour, then you are in trouble; by 11pm, my own trouble will start.

Is it possible by any means that potholes are tackled any earlier before they get outsized and cut the road in half? As I drive through the streets of Port Harcourt, from Eleme Junction to Borokiri, through Trans Amadi or Stadium Road, abi na Rumuola or D/Line, even almighty GRA, I know the exact position of every pothole and their previous sizes, bearing in mind that they will only get bigger.

Preventive maintenance cannot possibly be as easy as rocket science, can it? How else can they award those multi million naira contract? According to the infamous Pat Etteh, the money is for Upgrade not Renovations.

Why on God’s earth do we pay for trolleys at the international arrivals at Murtala Muhammed Airport, and some extra for a porter to help push it around? Talk about the busiest airport in Africa with only one working snail speed conveyor belt, bearing in mind that there are no seats to sit on and wait for whoever it is that is coming to pick you. Woe betides you, if your plane lands in the middle of the night. A colleague of mine had to stand for several hours before deciding to use one luggage as a seat and the other as head rest, because they landed by 1am, thanks to delays by the airline.

By the way, why don’t we have an airport in Port Harcourt? It is unless you are ready to pay twice the price; you are going to drive, almost 2hours to Owerri to fly to Lagos or Abuja? Mentioning not that it is meant to be an International Airport… anyway, that is another story for another day; let them re-open it first.

Why are there mobile policemen on the roads stopping cars and asking for licence and registration? Na their work be that?

What happened to the excess cash Nigeria derived from crude sales in the past years? And then what do we turn to when the crude oil finishes. For the benefit of those who do not know, crude oil is a non-recoverable resource.

My neighbours have not got running water in their houses, but I do. This is because I made arrangements to have a 1000litre tank sit somewhere very far from the ground, right beside my roof.

I have always paid my taxes yet I can’t be caught outside my house after 9:00pm.

There is only as much as I can say, however, I appeal to His Excellency the Executive Governor of Rivers State, DO NOT follow in the footsteps of your predecessor.

Your tenure shall not be known for road resurfacing, in Jesus name.

From start to finish over a glass of Smirnoff (Lemon Twist) and Campari, this post was written out of the abundance of my immediate vexation; it was not well thought over or re-edited over and over…read and feel me

28 comments:

Lighty said...

U'RE BACK, AND AM FIRST, WOW! LET ME GO READ.

Lighty said...

SO NAIJ IS STILL WITH THIS NO LIGHT, WATER AND BAD ROAD BUSINESS? I FEEL UR PAIN? GOD HELP NIGERIA. ALL THAT MONEY 4 TTOLLEYS AND STILL THE AIRPORT IS NASTY LOOKING.

THAT REMINDS ME. I HAD A PROJECT ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE AND NAIJ HAPPENS TO EXPORTS SHIT LOADS OF PRODUCTS ALL DUTY FREE SO I REALLY WONDER HOW COME OUR ECONOMY IS DECLINING. IT REALLY SADDENS MY HEART.

cally-waffybabe said...
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Anonymous said...

as someone actually planning to return back to 9ja someday, this give me no hope. damn. Is it really that bad?

Baroque said...

@lighty sugar...100% don comot for the name...yea, you're first!...whats this Int'l Trade project you were working on...& shit loads of what is naija exporting?

@CWB...you're just a rubbush babe...you are 'spent'...that thing na heavy old mama dem grammar...SPENT...you dont have to do these things yourself...ring me anytime...like i said...you're my girl...please can we not talk about the closure of PH Int'l Airport...its has got very major political undertones...nothing 'consine' Sosoliso inside...i don reply you back too...orgasmic stop ko, orgasmic stop ni

@anon...feel free to come back...you'll survive...its bad no doubt...but the crux of the matter is the lack of improvement...these are the few times we let it get to us...provided you're naija born...under proper arrangee...you'll have a blast

Jaja said...

Ok, you whine pass me...

But everything you are saying is true. From Gen noise to pot holes.. to mobile police... every thing!.. The one about the airport runs me mad.. Imagine going to that run down Owerri Airport that really should be a Trailer park.. imagine that stupid journey one has to take...

Or pay that expensive, rubbish 25k naira PH-Lagos... from that air strip Odili has opened at airforce base while work is being delayed at the main airport so he can recoup some profit..

Am too mad to be coherent...

But we are strong people.. we will rant and rave , we will do something, It will get better...

How far na?

Jezi Brown said...

yo !
how have you been?
So naij has changed sha. I rememeber irritating generators too of my neighbours! GRRHH
bebe is cool .. not for me. hustling for another job now!

cally-waffybabe said...
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Anonymous said...

of course i'm 9ja born..born and breed, all the way. its not like i'm not used to seeing these things...but living in the us of a turns u into ajebutter. lol.

cally-waffybabe said...
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unshined congo said...

hmmm! naija!! when will all these end?? during our 47th yr independence, NEPA oh sorry PHCN right here in the big heart of nigeria had the guts to seize their so called ''power supply'' lol. power supply when be like cigar light.after the heavy riot ( u trust area boys now!!) they finally put it back on. anyways i really feel u on this post.

Baroque said...

@Jaja my man, the whinning no be small thing oh...pls lets not talk about that airport...i'm just waiting to see if it will be better than mma2 when it is finally opened

@JeziB...i dey oh...but i just dey silent like sound proof gen...enjoy Bebe though until the new one comes

@mycallywaffybaby...you no go pass on an opportunity to touch me there abi...see your life...however, lurv you more...meanwhile, as my body dey do me now...like duracell...never say die...holla me...i take you

@anonymous ajeburra...top reqmt for survival, born, bred & buttered in naij...all of us be aje na im make the thing dey pain us like this...we go survive

@unshined...you feel me abi?...you say na cigar light LOL...cant be that bad na...but was there really a riot bcuz of the light?

Baroque said...

@CWB...your vexation say i no wan update...[deleted]...make we do am behind closed doors...what say you?

cally-waffybabe said...
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Mrs Somebody said...

hmmmm............Baroque and CWB,......hmmmmm

cally-waffybabe said...

Baroque...

Baroque said...

@CWB, wetin i do? see as you dey call my name...abeg, i no dey into BDSM...see me oh

@mrs.somborry, we no do anything oh!

...at least we neva do yet :-)

cally-waffybabe said...

BDSM??? Abeg i be bush woman o, so elaborate...

cally-waffybabe said...
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cally-waffybabe said...
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Porter deHarqourt said...

that's one hell of a rant...but that's how things are.

it gets really hard to write positive posts about this port-harcourt.

Baroque, hmm u and CWB make una take am easy o!

cally-waffybabe said...
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Baroque said...

@Porter, u feel me abi? [my newest catch-phrase]

@myCWB, i apprish you missing me, i know u cant stay without me, same here!...Bondage & Discipline, Sadoism & Masochism...so count me out...meanwhile, are we ready to go public with our affair? cool down naa...LOL...off to yours

cally-waffybabe said...
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Mrs Somebody said...

What's going on here???
Baroque and CWB!!!!
Is there love in the air?

cally-waffybabe said...
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Baroque said...

@myCWB, why shall i shy?...dont mind my late comments...i always try to catch up, but no time...meanwhile leave Mrs.Smbdy outta it, na my aunty & she's only concerned for my safety LOL

@mrs.somburri, the love don dey reach ground sef...dont mind CWB...she just dey mark territory...its something women do!

The Beads Factor said...

It's actually painful to think about this things especially when u r so helpless to make any changes. Ifonly Naijas could have a 'Maintenance Culture', things would be much better. Sadly most of our facilities have to go beyond repair before the experts are called in. *Sigh*
But Baroque, MM Airport can't be Africa's busiest airport oh. it cant be. I've been to Egypt, Kenya and South Africa and they are far busier.