Tuesday, 30 October 2007

Pre-Tryst

“The number you have called is not available at the moment, please try again later” said the MTN voice. This was after I had #31# the number, because I was not sure if I should call Nma again.

Again, would be because I had called her last night and we had had this very lewd and publicly offensive discourse on the phone, which should have been Phone III. It started from a Presentez Vous concept. I had never heard a woman being described like that before however it ended in one very PG21, strong language, explicit lyrics, viewer discretion required presentation; only the sex and violence remained.

Its Thursday morning, we’re standing at the arrivals, waiting to claim her checked-in suitcase, I had just arrived Lagos with my new colleague, my protégée as I would love to call her. Eve had only joined us less than eight months ago, after the completion of a Masters degree in the UK, and was drafted into my team, smart chic though. “How come you have a checked-in luggage for a two day meeting, abi you no dey come back” I queried.

She is also Lee’s kid sister; Lee is a friend from secondary school. However I had met her before when she interned with my company three of four years ago, this was after not seeing her since she was a very little girl.

She’s telling me the suitcase is quite empty that it belonged to her cousin in Lagos and how it was the perfect opportunity for her to give it back, before my phone rings. Without looking at it, I put one finger in the air asking for a minute and push the answer button on the blue tooth ear piece fitted in my left ear.

“Yello!?”
“Morning Romeo!” recognising the voice, I smile and moved away for some privacy.
I reply still smiling, “My Juliet, how are you doing?” in a jolly tone. I was in a good mood because I had a groovy weekend ahead of me; I was going to be in Lagos till Sunday morning, of course the approval came after a very annoying debate with my boss over what I was meant to be doing at the meeting, the notion I was representing, and his insisting I come back after work on Friday. Imagine the mudhaf*kr trying to make me pass up a Friday night in Lagos, is he mad? Not on his life.

“I had just tried your number and it said it wasn’t available” I said to Nma.
“The network has been terrible. Anyway, I thought I’d let you know I’m still in Lagos trying to sort out missing luggage issues with these Air France guys here, they say I’m getting it before the weekend, hopefully”

Missing luggage! Talk about being violated. It feels like one is stripped and made to walk through town, unshaven members and all dangling and swinging for the world to size up.

“I hope say no be there our goods dey oh, abeg. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll get it back” I say reassuringly
“I hope so too. Yea, so how are you? I hope you slept well last night?” she asks.
“I did, thank you”
“Well, I didn’t, thank you” she says
“You didn’t? What did I do?” I asked innocently
“More like, what didn’t you do?” she answered back
“Well, I’ve got a meeting to be at later this morning, and I’m trying to sort myself out”
“You don’t sound like you are in an office, it seems a bit noisy”
“Yea, very noisy. I’m at the airport”
“Avionics meeting?” she asks in jest
I reply with this big grin on my face, “Very funny! Just arriving Lagos for my meeting”
“You’re kidding me, you are in Lagos? You didn’t tell me you were coming to Lag”
“I thought I did”, knowing fully well that I didn’t. “Anyway, I’m right here in Lagos. I just dey reach” I continued
She heaves and after a few seconds she says, “Ok, now I’m not sure exactly why it felt like my heart missed a beat. Or two”
“Maybe it’s because you’re not sure you want to meet me after last night’s conversation” I say blatantly
“I so want to meet you, you have no idea, but there’s this very uneasy feeling about it, should I trust you, player?”
“Player! My dear, it’s totally up to you to trust or not and to what extent you want to take it. I shall not be held responsible for your mis-endeavours. However, you can trust that as long as it is within my reach, I shall pleasure you to refusal”
“You don start? I have not gotten over yesterday’s conversation. You have a dirty mind you know?”
“I do? You nko?” I replied
“This is really strange, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life”
“Then why you are scared of meeting me?”
“I’m not scared of meeting you?” she says sounding very sure “Just unsure if want to, just yet. Trying to be careful”
“Yeah, you know, I just might be a serial killer, trying to make a bag off your hide”
“Even if here na America, I no fear you” she says sarcastically
“It then means I’m seeing you today”
“Don’t even go there” she warns

After going back and forth about the impending rendezvous, we agree to do an early Friday evening. If her description is anything to go by, then I want to meet her today. Let’s get this show on the road. By this time, Eve had gotten her suitcase and we were heading for the exit to find the driver and make our way first to Onikan for our meeting.

“Alrighty then, see you tomorrow” she says
“Call me when you’re done, let’s see what happens” I hang up.

This time, piss no dey catch me.

28 comments:

Isi said...

hi B, long time. am i first or what?! i'll be back, make i go read ur post...

UnNaked Soul said...

OGIMO!!! somebody toto & prick don dey scratch dem... hmmmmmm

oye ne ku? LOL... funny enough, that's my sista's favour "wetin" line.

Let me know how it goes :-D

Baroque said...

@isi, where u de, you still never read finish?

@unnaked, abro, owu moi ne ku...this p&t matter no be small thing oh...i'll let you know how it goes

Isi said...

hmmm, if only things like this could lead to love everlasting! i'm a romantic at heart and don't like heart-break stories. make sure u are back to giv us the jist blow by blow (er, no pun intended lol!!!)
no mind me o, i got involved in some other things and forgot to check back earlier.
i'll be around ur space tomm.

Obinwanne said...

abeg....keep us updated as per what follows...

cally-waffybabe said...

LOL. So when piss no dey catch you, does it mean you're not as keen? Abeg elaborate abi conclude. *sulking and pouting also at nma for taking my Juliet position*

Baroque said...

i shall keep you updated but make una first read this one finish...i've got a couple of rambled posts i'm trying to figure out...

@myCWB, incidentally, i dey piss after the other two episodes :-) mnwhile, this our love still dey new to share oh...

Lighty said...

ummmm um um baroque is getting sum. i can seee it already. BAROQUE u sure thats not why u're in lagos? to get a whole lot of SOMETHING SOMETHING? anyway be quick to finish the gist abeg.

Atutupoyoyo said...

Chai this boy your ashewo ways never finish ehn? Part 2 no dey?

The Beads Factor said...

lmao. I actually had a similar encounter 3 - 4years ago. D guy dialled my number in error and he called back to say he liked my voice. After a month of being phone buddies and talking for hours on the phone like 4/5times daily, he insisted he wanted us to meet. I was very excited and wary but I finally agreed. Initially, it was a beautiful relationship oh no intimacy but he started talking dirty, very dirty and I concluded he was a p...

The Beads Factor said...

.....& d guy was Niger-Delta. Initials B.A. Abi na you? Oya confess...

Baroque said...

@lighty, i'm really hoping to...you know...

@atutu, me & you, who bad pass??? :-) ...more like PartIV dey...

@beadsfactor, a perv?...nothing to confess oh...it is so not me...i dey talk dirty???...no be me oh

Zephi said...

ehn...you just had to end it there...pls dont be leaving me hanging like that...we want the akshon na...I want to know what she looks like

Jezi Brown said...

complete the jist my friend! what happened next?

Zephi said...

arghhhhhhh :(








































:)

anonymous gal said...

so piss catch u then wat? impatiently waitin.

Isi said...

what's up? no update?!

Isi said...

baroooooooooooooque!! hiiiiiiiii!!!!

cally-waffybabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Isi said...

hi B

Mrs Somebody said...

.

Isi said...

ah ah! what is the meaning of this nah?! update jare!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

hahaha, lol @ Atutu's comments...

Jaja said...

ProstituDe

Update the damn blog.... U already know I hate to wait.

Did you fuck or not?

(does it sort of show that I ve been in the jungle for too long)

Tyger said...

Ashewo somborry...

So what happened...or you are still at it?

And i was already thinking of you in favourable lights... like a blog love kinda thing... but i am discouraged!... haba... pshew..

Lighty said...

mister u've been tagged.

kokolette said...

pls post the conversation you guys had...i loove raunchy convos...lol

Baroque said...

I don return oh…

@zephi, i’ll try not to leav you hanging…the akshon dey com

@jezi brown, I’ll be back after these messages

@anon gal, wait a lirrlr more

@isi, HI, no vex for I am now with you

@myCWB, Happy Birthday in arrears…I’ve been outta circulation, back now for a while though

@mrs.somburri, ?

@solo, wetin u dey laugh? 

@jaja, u don return? that Kaiama you go get as e do you for body, e be like

@tyger, me? Ashewo? i’m not the bad guy oh…try Ubong…&pls, don’t change your mind towards me, I’ve been redeployed to a more interior location. thanks to my HR dept…

@lighty, me? Tagged? Ok I dey come

@kokolette, I can’t guarantee you the conversation, but the action