“Women!” we all chorused in the middle of his story
He continued
After he had introduced and explained himself to the attendant, she brandishes a pair of silver coloured shoes then he enquired to confirm what the price was
“Sir, its sixty-five thousand naira” the attendant replied
I don’t know what his reaction was but it definitely was one of surprise because he picked up his phone and called his fiancée, she confirmed it was sixty-five thousand naira and said thank you before he consented to anything.
“Sixty-five thousand naira ke? Is that meant to be chicken change, then how much was the dress going to cost?”
“Why you dey talk like that?” he started to ask me, “You mean you no get shoe wey reach 60k?”
“My broda, no vex, I no get” I replied
“Ah ah, I have shoes that cost more than that oh” another friend added hilariously
“Wait oh, so you mean say as you dey like this, you no get shoe wey reach 60k?” He interrogated me further
“As I dey like how? That one na achievement?”
“Wetin you dey carry all your money do?” he said
“Definitely not buy shoes that cost 60k”
“Ol boy take your money buy quality things, no dey mise1”
“Quality fire, see eh, there’s nowhere you’ll wear your 1million naira shoe to that I won’t wear my regular priced shoes to”
“How many shoes you get sef?” he continued
“This boy, are you alright?” I asked him, “Like it’s of any importance, I’ve got more shoes than I can wear at the moment” I concluded
“Come to my house and let me show you a room filled with shoes only, some I never even wear” he boasted arrogantly
“Crap, I don see shoes wey you dey wear; your taste no follow. Guy, you still wear Timberland boots to work, common, what are we talking about?” I added
“You know how much I buy the Timbs?” he questioned, “You say I have no taste, you think say na that suit you wear come Mark wedding on Saturday?”
I thought to myself with this irate sensation gradually creeping over me, my friend was going down the road of being quite petty and I was not going to let him get me cheap.
“Gosh, you’re so unbelievable, ok na, lets get down to it, yes, my suit might not have been the best at the wedding but it sure was a perfect fit, but make we talk about the one you wear, considering the size, did you buy it for half a million naira?” I quizzed in utmost mockery.
“See this guy oh, I bought that suit two weeks ago in Italy for over five hundred Euros” he said pompously
“You had the opportunity to do the shopping yourself and all you could get was papa-dash-me? Ol boy, you yab, maybe if it was your size, it would have cost far less, ever heard of the word bespoke?” I said laughing
“Call am anything you like, but no wear that your rubbish suit again” he advised
“I gree, maybe your suit was a million Euros but take it from me, it didn’t look good on you. You looked like one OMATA guy, the fucking suit was oversized, mister. You were lost in it”
Luckily, someone interrupted, saying something about us being immature, (which honestly I agree). Moreover it seemed like it was going to be an endless spat and might likely get out of hand. We changed topics for the love of the game and proceeded to glug down the rest of the Hennessey that lay in wait unwearyingly.
The night ended on a merry note after the ship from the port had offloaded its consignment into our hands.
