Road Rage

The way people drive in this country Nigeria is driving me mad. Why on earth cant you make that turn without driving through my own lane, are you out of your mind? When I drive straight up to your bumper, you proceed to insult me wondering if I didn’t see you. "What nonsense, drive on your own lane you bastard”.

Taxi and bus drivers should all be arrested and shot in the head. We can do better without their nuisance. There’s no reason on earth these bus drivers have to wait for you to pass in front of them. “For Pete sakes the line ahead of you is not moving so why have you blocked the damn road?” As for the taxi drivers that stop right on the road whenever they feel like, should have their throats slit right there on their drivers seats. ”Bloody native goats”.

Who issued these people licenses? More like, where did these people buy their licenses? The sign simply says Reverse Parking Only, yet you do the exact opposite and park right before the sign. Are you from Hades or you simple can’t read? The idea is so that when you are leaving you do not back up into the road. Was that too hard to figure?

It is rush hour and we are all trying to get to work early. This woman drives unto the main road like her father built it and conveniently drives at 20km/h ahead of us all. We must really be that bored to have left our houses without destinations. After blaring horns like we were driving cattle we finally overtake to see the bloody ignoramus doing her make up and driving at the same time, assuming she was not on the phone at the same time.

Men and women that we would have readily called normal human beings, have their seat belts strapped on but have their kids standing on the front seat or playing at the back, up there by the rear speaker. All merry and very unstrapped. I may love children but if the death of one or two in their parents cars would teach us that lesson, the so be it.

There is no day I get behind the steering that I don’t curse vehemently. It is driving me nuts seeing this rubbish in different forms every damn day. I maintain that we’re not having our fair share of road mishaps; it will bring me great joy if people learned these lessons, preferably, the hard way.